We've both spent time exploring the history and traditions of marriage, recognizing most of them are a rip off and used to display wealth. Did you know that researchers have found the more $$$ you spend on your wedding, the more likely it is to not work out? Yep.
There are many reasons we've been, and still are opposed to the institution of marriage. We believed it was unfair that marriage wasn't open to people of different races and sexual orientations. We disliked the commercialization of a personal ceremony. We don't believe in it's foundations of ownership. We didn't care for it as a religious affair (which was invented in the early 1200s). We despise how marriage has been used as a tool of power and control. And, we don't believe that the government has any say as a third party in the intimate relationship of two consenting adults. The list goes on. So. We're breaking with tradition. Behold some of the specific items on a wedding checklist we will not be doing. Engagement Ring - Here's a few reasons why we're not "putting a ring on it." 1) We don't need two rings. 2) We don't buy into the ad campaign. (Prior to diamonds, the common engagement gift was a sewing thimble). 3) Other humans are exploited to harvest diamonds. Diamonds are neither rare or last forever. They also fuel international conflicts. 4) The engagement ring was originally a symbol of possession. Expecting someone to dedicate two+ months of his salary to prove his love by buying you a mineral dug up by children and controlled by big business IS A SCAM. Nothing about that says love to us. White Dress - 1) Cat will definitely spill on it, and doesn't want to drink white wine all night. 2) The white dress came into fashion after Queen Victoria broke tradition - prior, people often wore brightly colored dresses. Then, the marketing began, citing white as a symbol of purity and virginity. Don't even get us started on the patriarchy and virginity. Proposal - Most proposals have some variation of "will you be my wife" and "will you spend the rest of your life with me?" We think those are the wrong questions, which lead to the wrong answer, which lay the foundation for the wrong kind of relationship for us. Name Change - The origins of this date back to when women had no independent legal identity outside their husband. We both like our names and are quite content to keep them. We considered making one up, or combining them, but Cuevnich and Virnas sound terrible. Plus there would be all kinds of paperwork required. Better Half - We don't complete each other, nor do we want to. We want each person to complete themselves with the encouragement and devotion of the other.
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